Binge Eating Recovery and Weight Loss: Can They Coexist?

When a new client comes to see me for binge eating support, they most often want two outcomes from our work together. The first is to stop binge eating once and for all! The second is to lose weight.

Now, there is nothing wrong with this want. But, I will tell you what I always tell my clients:

Active weight loss and binge eating recovery cannot coexist.

I know, I know. You probably have 100 reasons to tell me why in your case it can. And I have heard it all! But I have also been doing this work for a very long time, and this is one thing I know to be true.

Recovering from your binge eating disorder must come first.

You need to be able to allow space to be free with your food and to not engage in any mental or physical restriction. Restriction will always cycle back into a binge. It is very hard to actively lose weight without mentally or physically restricting. (Read more about the dieting and binge eating cycle here).

But, not restricting does not mean a free for all with your food!

When I tell people that all foods fit, they often think I have lost my mind. I get questions like: “are you telling me ice cream isn’t unhealthy?”, or “you really believe pizza is going to help me nutritionally?”.

Yes. I really do. There is no food worse for you than having an eating disorder.

Let’s look at a classic binge eating scenario.

If you are on a diet and trying to lose weight, you may choose to restrict pizza and ice cream (for example). Now there is nothing wrong with this, except for the fact that what we resist persists, especially in those with a disordered eating background. The more you avoid the pizza and ice cream, the more you think about it. You also may become less and less satisfied with the meals you’re consuming because you are so focused on the foods you love and cannot have. This inevitably will lead to a “screw it moment”. You will order the pizza, have the ice cream, and decide that your diet will start again tomorrow.

Now let’s look at an alternate scenario.

Let’s say, you are trying to recover from binge eating disorder. In working together, you have learned how to balance your plate to make sure you are physiologically satisfied, and you also know that all foods fit. You get to choose when you have a certain food or meal and when you don’t, and when you enjoy more food and when you have less.

At first, pizza and ice cream may seem really “shiny”. As in, these foods have been off limits for years, only allowed in a binge, and now a nutritionist is telling you to go for it! And of course there are ways to engage in triggering foods safely, all of which we learn about together in my Binge Eating Recovery Program. (You can also learn more about binge food integration here).

Now, at first you may have pizza and ice cream all the time. It is such a novelty. But after a while, you get kind of bored of it. It loses some of its sparkle. You start to gravitate towards foods that make you feel really good, not because you are actively restricting, but because you are choosing to find what feels good. Inevitably, you enjoy some ice cream or order some pizza only when you truly feel like it. You eat mindfully, with full permission, and stop when satisfied, knowing you can enjoy this food any time you like. There is no urgency around it.

This sense of calm around food I just described is attainable to you. Truly! But it is not something that is within reach while actively trying to lose weight and manipulating food and body.

So, if binge eating has been an issue for you, and I believe it must be if you are reading this, I would like to leave you with this thought.

Before you immediately decide to start the next diet or weight loss attempt, ask yourself the following questions:

“Has this ever worked for me in the past?”

Likely the answer is no if you are still searching. And if not…

“Why do I think this time will be any different?”

It won’t be. Not because you are not capable of feeling vibrant and healthy and comfortable in your skin (you are!!), but because the next great diet is not the thing that will take you there.

So, I would ask you to take a leap of faith. To try in order to trust. Try something different this time. Let’s focus on binge eating recovery first. Seek that feeling of calm around food, a sense of food freedom, and a knowing that you are getting off of that binge and restrict roller-coaster once and for all!

Once you have done this, you can decide how you feel, and what you need. You may feel you need or want to lose weight…but you may not! ;)

If you need help finally getting off the binge eating roller-coaster for good, check out my Binge Eating Recovery Program. In this program you will go from binge eating to balanced and learn how to let go of the food rules for good.